Nicola pt.4

Together we took an eraser to the line

Removed all restrictions, discarded all inhibitions

But it’s decided.

I have made up my mind

This final ode I consider your eulogy

Rest in peace Nicola

Farewell, my friend, my lover

I pay tribute to your precious memories, sometimes through laughter;

Occasionally through tears, but mostly through my obvious love and affection for you

No longer will I torture myself in your name

Chastising my mind, body and soul in hopes of a higher understanding

But I am no Saint and this mortification is in vein

Do you think about me? Have you missed me the little I’ve been gone?

Does your mind wander then wonder over where I am now?

Do you drown in thoughts...? Drown in tears…?

There was never a guarantee we ever had a future

Yet as the ocean embraces the shore

Your love consumed me leaving me wanting for more

Washing me anew

Unaware of the beauty that was within until I collided into you

I dedicate these lines to your memory

To the girl I passed now and then in the hallways

To the conversations we had with our eyes

Before profession from our lips

To the girl who knew what I was thinking

Long before the thought was complete

I wanted to be the best you ever had or would ever attain

Now it’s beautifully depressing and am stained with the relic of you

The nostalgia of it all

Yet as I lay here scripting my final words of parting you from mind

Your picture displays on my mobile

A return call after all these months

As if only tonight I had returned to existence

Or had these constant thoughts of you removed the distance

I wonder can you tell my heart races from the yearning it undergoes

As I reluctantly answer

Then manage to muster a somewhat fragile effort to be earnest…

“Hel...lo?”