I have forgotten.
Forgotten how it feels to regret.
To say “I'm Sorry” without meaning otherwise
To dry your tears
To rest your head against my chest
To assure you that everything will be alright.
The ice in my veins now reflect my attitude
As the smile on your face becomes a permanent frown
Right side up or is it the wrong side down?
It would be easier to close your eyes
Pretend this is a dream
Wouldn't it?
Yet, hidden in disguise
Was the piercing fragile truth
That this would be our demise.
Why did I end the serenity?
Disturb the calm of your night
Watching you fall
As you collide into my mold of lies
Your heart, shattering on impact
While I step aside to watch the pieces scatter
Broken and lost forever.
Confused by my lack of emotion
Trying to make sense of it all
Still lost
Still assuming
Still…
I am the architect of this melancholy
Crafting these impenetrable walls
Regressed to the voices in my head
Away from you all
Round of applause; praise thee
Standing ovation for this colossal folly
Until I drown in absinthe
Filled with my regret
Distilled and highly potent
Yet effective only to fixate
My loss in perspective
Madness has a home here
I have found my brother in misery
As I battle the torment
Of these unyielding hallucinogenic trickery.
Olsfred James 2014©
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