Abridge

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“Hit me again”
She says as the music plays
In the background
Drowning out the commotion
So the neighbors don’t know what’s really going down
Thinking it’s still the party going on

“I know this is what you want. I know this is what you want”
She continues her taunt in the wake of his rage
Surprised that this rat did not cower to its cage
Shocked by her action
To reaction
He takes another swig to
Approve his dissatisfaction

“I will never be your…”
Her words fell short
But his fist did not
Breaking her fall with the help of the center table
I mean
All in all he was justified right?
She asked for it so he had to prove he was able
But she,
She swore he would never hit her again
And ran him through with that broken glass
Taking up the mantle of Cain.

“I, I, I loved you
And all you fed me were black and blue eyes 
On a platter of lies
Cruel summer nights
Wishing
Hoping
Praying for you demise
I warned you
I’ve had it, I’ve had it
Enough is enough
And I can only take so much”

Limp and cold…
He falls to the floor
Drowning in regret
Yet he will hit her no more
But you see…
This story started
Somewhere in the middle of the climax to the end
So I may summarize
The lives of two lovers who started out as friends
But now, 
As she looks on at what she has done
She realizes her music has stopped playing
Swapped with the wailing of the approaching siren.

Olsfred James 2015©

Taijitu

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There's darkness in me
Tainting my thoughts
And swaying my perception
Creeping tauntingly into my reality,
It calls to me with mischief 
And blissful thoughts of mayhem
Undying is its thirst for my attention.
There's a light in me
Unbiased and unconditional
Thriving for goodness
Stretching to my core.
Its blinds with radiance
Of love and appreciation
Selfless acceptance for all.
I am aware of these entities
Dwelling within me
An unstable concoction
Between polar opposites
Each laboring to be unrivaled
A constant battle of good and evil.
Every day I struggle to find a balance
Common ground for coexistence
I falter
I stumble 
But some days...
Some days I succeed.
Do not judge my journey
Or deny my propose
For each "me" or "I" in this piece
Is truly a "you"
While each "my" is "your".
Do not forsake the human in humanity
The heart that beats is of the same blood
Flowing between you and me.
The difference in our hues
Begs for the understanding and appreciation
It deserves.

Olsfred James 2015©

Alto

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Let us walk
In fields of wild reverie
To find clarity
In the meadow of loves blossom.
Let us whisk away
On fanciful musings
On times before time
Before uncertainty clots the mind
When doubt festers
Draining you of promise
From needless limitations
Or finite possibilities
Where we are judged not by man
Nor confined to their expectations
Let tomorrow's untold
Of unyielding grace
Flourish with tranquil dreams
Washing our desires anew
Inciting ceaseless inspiration
To ignorant minds
Blind to the beauty
Of their self-imposed boundaries
Let us be delighted in fruition
Of visionary charm
As we wander 
Hand in hand
Forever.

Olsfred James 2015©

Sober

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I'm sober.

The impeding effects have worn

The vertigo-esque ailment has subsided

And as I lay her with the smell of you lingering

I am unequivocally certain… 

I do not want you... 

Any less.

Any less since…

The first time my eyes found comfort in your beauty

Our convergence was met with mutual desire

Since the butterflies nested at my core

Trailing tales of goose bumps along my arm

Since our embrace was alchemy of its own

The friction of our hearts as our bodies collide.

Yes… I'm sober.

And I do not want you…

Any less.

Olsfred James 2015©

Impasse

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Slowly

As the anguish

Of the knife borrows deeper

Piercing flesh

And contracting muscles

Bent on resisting

The already inevitable outcome

The body irrevocably spasms.

The pain rushes forth

Unabated

And relentless

The ripple effect is crippling

The intended screams

Quickly muffled

Between taste of leather

And metal.

The eyes flutter

Shock ridden pupils sink

Ebbing closer to the darkness

Without resistance.

There was no fight remaining

As the steel slowly leaves the spin

And the light fades to black

The body topples over

Drowning in a pool of its own blood.

 Olsfred James 2015© 

Nocturnal

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2 a.m.
Cornered by insomnia
Warped in a blur of thoughts
Blanketed by the permeating darkness
And the echoes of silence
Surrounding me.
Reluctantly I surrender to your call
Laboriously dictating
The incessant voices in my head
Each a force of their own
Anxious to be heard.
I'm already stretched beyond my means
Elongated beyond recognition
As these cursed letters
Eager to take shape
Spiral from my fingers.
Heavy on my head
Is the weight of my heart
As the night fades
With pace of the rising sun.
…so…lac….e…
… i…s…
… fou… nd…
6 a.m.

Olsfred James 2015©

Prism

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The holes in the fabric of our existence

Is a daunting reality

Heavy on my head as it plagues my beliefs
Perpetuated by the weight of wonder
On what the uncanny may hold

The uncanny of the meaning of life

The benightedness of death

The purpose of existing.
The possibility that everything…

Everything every told

Everything ever read

Even the notion of salvation

And the truths of our reality…

Is a lie.

The instability in the foundation of our origin

Poses questions of authenticity

Am I who they say I am?

Or am I what I claim to be?
Science vs. Religion
Bill Nighy vs. Ken Ham
Ceaseless ideologies built on unsubstantiated faith

Sends chills down my spine

The black and grays of the many "what ifs"
Only to be brushed off by "whatevers"

For failure to collate answers

Of conflicting theories surrounding me

Yet I've accepted the grand scheme of things
Accepted that it is bigger than me
Because I too, am just a speck of dust in the galaxy

Yet my thirst for knowledge will not be quenched

By the hypothesis of men

Or the writings the claimed were not of them.

Olsfred James 2015©

Petals

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Dancing petals
In the summer's eve
Sway to their hearts content.
With rhythmic patterns
Basking in breath
Of freedom's solace 
A kiss of June's embrace
Interprets self-indulgence.
Judgment devoid
Of this character untamed 
As glistening rays
Reflect their radiance
Cleansed in the beauty of the day
Inherently alluring
Gracefully refined
Etched forever in memory
Gingerly encased in time.

Olsfred James 2015©

Goddess

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The hues of her beauty…
Were indefinite,
Reflecting a kaleidoscope of brilliance
Awakening divine coalesce
Liberating pathways to other dimensions
Yet…
This only concealed the true spectrum
Of this goddess' power.

Scantily attired in her satin dress.
Knitted to perfection
With remains from broken hearts
Threaded inseam.
The fabric drenched red
From mangled arteries
Her intentions were clear
As she sieged the comfort of my bed

Trapped.
Cornered by the flames
Of her insatiable desire
She vowed to burn me asunder
Vowed to devour me whole
Rid me of my inhibitions
With the fervor of her power
My pleads burned to ash
Embers drifting to nothingness.
Her words ablaze with passion
Hid the truth of my ruin.
She tempted ravenous rapture
But admitted nothing of oblivion
As she sought to conquer my lust
And lay me to rest.

She toyed at my emotions
Jeering on with her seduction
Tempting my desire
But I knew
This goddess
This symbol of beauty
She, would be the death of me.
Ceremoniously amongst the lily white petals
Withering away as the sun faded
She would lay my head
Gently at the heels of jagged rocks
With a kiss from her blood stained lips
Forever branding my life as her own.

Olsfred James 2015©

Mermaid

Instagram collabs from The Spilling Ink

Do check out Spilling Ink on Instagram @thespillingink
Or our blog at https://thespillingink.wordpress.com

Pieces

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Until that dying day

When the last breath has expired

Escaping from collapsed lungs

Whisked away to dance once more in the breeze

When this body returns to the dust

Reeking in a pit of decay

Wasting away with the memories of yesteryear

A prisoner to your love I will forever remain.

Olsfred James 2015©

Guise

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This mask I wear is not for me

But to further sedate your sense of security

Ever curious to see what lies beneath

Fixated on the paradox that is me.

I swing from both ends of the pendulum

Emotionally unstable - ever shifting

The outstretched corners of my lips

You call a smile

I consider the icing on this cake of lies.

I am constantly reminded why I favor this solitude,

These for walls in the space of my mind

Away from pointless interactions

Or needless social bonds

Built on a constant need to break each other down

I am constantly reminded why I retreat to my shell

And leave the world to crumble

Patiently waiting to watch it all burn.

Maybe I half expect the disappointments that follow

And as a result of this I never fully commit

To express more than I can sacrifice in any relation

Because at the end of the day

People will be people

No. Matter. What.

Olsfred James 2015©

Naima pt.2

She sleeps
Sprawled across the bed
In her ever contorted positions.
I wonder if she is even dreaming
Her face bares no expression yet she seems peaceful
And unconcerned with the brilliance of the rising sun
Or the increasing uneasy temperature of the room.
My shirt is whelmed by the trickles of dribble
Oozing from between her lips
I can feel the icky unpleasantness slowly seeping
Spreading between the cotton fibers then plastered to my skin
Yet… Comfortably, she lays in place, serenaded by the songs of my heartbeats
Rocked to the lullaby with the heaves of my chest.
It would be a shame to disturb her slumber
To wake her from her imaginations wonder
Of whatever princess fascination she created for herself
So I leave her to sleep and not bare any disappointments in myself. 
Yet with awful timing my mobile goes off
And she awakes with a sheepish gaze asking…
"Daddy do I have karate today?"
I smile, dazed by the twinkle in her eye
And the randomness of her question
Stroking her head gently before I answer…
"No baby, go back to sleep it's only Sunday"

Olsfred James 2015©

Routine

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Is that my name on your lips again?

Sullied and worn with abuse

From your constant use of them

Depicted as vile

"I hate his repulsive ass"

The definition of a night terror

"He was the worst thing to ever happen to me"

To any listening ear acting like they care.

I thought my staying away would help you forget

No calls

No text

Not even contact with once mutual friends

Yet here we are

Still told how much my guts have amassed your hate.

But now I do the math

I realize you're just as damaged as I am

Just as emotionally self-destructive

Just as concerned with what people think

Just as fake with your smiles to seem happy

Just as insecure

Just as fragile 

Just as weak

And you're just bitter I found you out.

Olsfred James 2015©

Twlight

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I am of night

A shadows reflection

Of the black and shapeless

Looming starless

All consuming nothingness

Darkness.

 

While she… is of day

Of the color and radiance

Kaleidoscope brilliance

Rainbow’s existence

Overwhelming luminescence

Light.

Olsfred James 2015©

Seppuku

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Within the depths of her eyes

I witnessed the weight binding her soul

Chained and heavy

Scared with affliction

Yearning to be more than what was.

Her body was an anchor

Hopelessly drifting with life’s currents

Incessant battering disfiguring her core

Until it was muddled of recognition

Her lusterless gaze

Drained of existence

Proved a doomed inclination

That she would no longer be trapped,

Seizing her fate with both hands

Tightly wrapped at the handle

She finished the job life could not.

While, yet dauntingly morbid

Her chalked layout

Was her final exhibition

Of her version of being free.

Olsfred James 2015©

Premonitory

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Please

Leave me to retreat to the darkness.

Let my charred blacken soul

Roam amongst the shadows

To dwell in the obscurity of the murkiness

Where it is without characteristic

And without judgment.

The chains of this vessel

Cannot bind me forever.

Do not mistake me for a caterpillar

Unaware of its metamorphosis

I know what I am…

What I have always been.

Cold and broken

A single shard of some… thing once whole.

Unable to find the pieces

With an identity unknown.

Spare yourself the torment

I am a black hole impartial of your affection

Callously consuming all in my path.

So please…

For the sake of your sanity

Forget that I exist.

Olsfred James 2015©

Coin

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She fell in love with my words…

                The persona within these pages.

                The lies I concocted while stewing another batch of imagination.

                Not the stretched beyond means

                Mangled and grotesque remains of the person that is me.

                The strangeness amongst the fiction we call the truth

                Is without tricks without props and without illusions

                Yet does not sate our needless self-destruction

                To sedate the truth

                Cowering from its contagious whisper

                Infection laced messages

Clinging to a reality much unlike our own

And the inflated imaginings of a person unknown, yet...

She fell in love with my words…

Olsfred James 2015©

Foreplay

This is one of the first Instagram collabs from Spilling Ink, with one of my partners in rhyme, Gloreen Lake.

Do check out Spilling Ink on Instagram @thespillingink
Or our blog at https://thespillingink.wordpress.com

Trancend

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She strings words from the depth of her soul

In tuned with her feelings

Giving life to her verbs

Intricate was her design.

A peculiar flower

Full of expression

Yet timid to the touch

Blossoming to life’s beauty

While I,

Forever the wonderer

Chasing the dreams of yesterday

Crafts words from my imagination

Make belief my sedation

The eyes see yet

The brain chooses relativity

That the dread of this world is a fantasy

We

She and I

Kindred spirits

Derived from different worlds

Yet these plains share the same existence

The bittersweet fragments of star-crossed affection

The clandestine affair of two beings

Without figure or form

Identity still an illusion

Yet what is the definition?

Beyond words explanation

Fragile sentiment

Thinking this could be categorized

Olsfred James 2015©

Cavil

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These words will fall on deaf ears

Keen to listen to the nothingness conveyed

These words will be read by blind eyes

In shapes and colors irrelevant of its meaning

These words will be spoken by the mute

The awkward silence in expression

And as easily as they were formed on this once blank canvas

These words will just as easily be forgotten...

I love you.

Olsfred James 2015©

Straight

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Let’s get elated

No use debating

It’s my mission

To get you missing

Why you dissing?

Girl this night is fated

Cure what you created

I need your saving

It’s been ages

High off your fragrance

Withdrawals first stages

I’m tired waiting

I... I… I… I am so faded

My minds degrading

I think about you

Wouldn’t doubt you

If you said this love is jaded

But I got this craving

Could you be persuaded?

To indulge in this feeling

Are you willing?

Trying to get you naked

Olsfred James 2015©