Solitary

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I promise you…
I'm fine.
By the end of this
We'll be right back here.
I just need some time to myself
Retract to my shell.
Lately…
I've found comfort within the walls of my mind;
Once congested with insecurities
Negativity and uncertainty.
In my quest to find silence
To shake the disorientation
I found my center.
I can do without the negativity
The split tongued conversations
Hissing this week’s scoop
Of freshly brewed gossip
I can do without the hushed tones
Passing their unwavering judgment
So please
Don't ask me if I'm okay.
It's not the end of the world if one day,
I'm not as perky as yesterday 
Not smiling as usual
Or willing to engage in conversation.
For now,
I prefer the company of my shadow
While I shuffle through my thoughts
Because as I said…
I'm fine.

Olsfred James 2015©

Pages

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I whisper truth within these pages
Breaths of life
From the lung of my fingertips
Into bodies I have never met
Yet in need of lyrical respiration.
These artificial manuscripts
Undressed of my comfort
Collate my secrets shared
My true self remains bare.
Slain by my demons
Seen and unseen
Known and unknown
Slithering their way to find refuge 
Between the cracks of these pages.
To some,
We may hide behind our words
As angry fingers force their aggression,
Plead their case
And bare their pain
Before the likes of fluorescent screens
Or nestled in familiarity of the lead point.
Fragile is each piece
Vulnerable
Complicated
"Handle with care"
Is written here…
Seeking acceptance
From the outside
From sharing the inside
But greater is the whole
Do not mock my journey
Or diminish my purpose.

Olsfred James 2015©

Rumination

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Surreal

Stripped of all I am

Trapped and confined

My only possession is time

Consciously, creeping away

Anticipating an impending consequence

As it bares fruition to... judgment

Blooming swift and unbiased.

Surrendering to ruminate

I deliberate

What is freedom?

The ability to exercise liberty

Exemption from external control

My mind travels beyond these walls

Without bounds

Without bonds

Desperate

Eager to escape

Away from the bland taste of this reality.

Swept by the winds beneath me

Relative lightness;

Buoyancy

As my eyes sweep to the horizon

Tasting the air

Savoring the new appreciation

Of all I took for granted

Is this how freedom feels?

What a day for a daydream.

Olsfred James 2015©

Absolution

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We lost our way

Resigned to the darkness

With tainted hearts

Beating of betrayal

Absent of the remorse

The mind knew it should feel,

Hiding behind ignorant pride.

The darkness was merciless

Outstretched beyond all imagination

Detached from emotional ties.

We accepted it as… sustenance

Sustenance for a starving creature

Hungry without appetite

Yet we grew dependent

Fervidly attached

Seeking acknowledgment 

Begging for its compassion.

Compassion…

Compassion…

We beg of you

Yet this we never gained

Until push came to shove

And no longer a hint of desire remained

For the cruelty we endured.

With disdain for what we had become

Cellularly unrecognizable

So far from where we came

We reached out

"Forgive us for our disobedience

So we may return to your grace."

On bended knees

With palms to the skies

Hands poised

Beggingly

Humbly

Seeking validation from the wink of dawn's light

To drown in its hues

Wishing…

Praying…

Hoping…

That this refuge was absolute.

Olsfred James 2015©