Naima pt.2

She sleeps
Sprawled across the bed
In her ever contorted positions.
I wonder if she is even dreaming
Her face bares no expression yet she seems peaceful
And unconcerned with the brilliance of the rising sun
Or the increasing uneasy temperature of the room.
My shirt is whelmed by the trickles of dribble
Oozing from between her lips
I can feel the icky unpleasantness slowly seeping
Spreading between the cotton fibers then plastered to my skin
Yet… Comfortably, she lays in place, serenaded by the songs of my heartbeats
Rocked to the lullaby with the heaves of my chest.
It would be a shame to disturb her slumber
To wake her from her imaginations wonder
Of whatever princess fascination she created for herself
So I leave her to sleep and not bare any disappointments in myself. 
Yet with awful timing my mobile goes off
And she awakes with a sheepish gaze asking…
"Daddy do I have karate today?"
I smile, dazed by the twinkle in her eye
And the randomness of her question
Stroking her head gently before I answer…
"No baby, go back to sleep it's only Sunday"

Olsfred James 2015©

Routine

-source-

Is that my name on your lips again?

Sullied and worn with abuse

From your constant use of them

Depicted as vile

"I hate his repulsive ass"

The definition of a night terror

"He was the worst thing to ever happen to me"

To any listening ear acting like they care.

I thought my staying away would help you forget

No calls

No text

Not even contact with once mutual friends

Yet here we are

Still told how much my guts have amassed your hate.

But now I do the math

I realize you're just as damaged as I am

Just as emotionally self-destructive

Just as concerned with what people think

Just as fake with your smiles to seem happy

Just as insecure

Just as fragile 

Just as weak

And you're just bitter I found you out.

Olsfred James 2015©

Twlight

-source-

I am of night

A shadows reflection

Of the black and shapeless

Looming starless

All consuming nothingness

Darkness.

 

While she… is of day

Of the color and radiance

Kaleidoscope brilliance

Rainbow’s existence

Overwhelming luminescence

Light.

Olsfred James 2015©

Seppuku

-source-

Within the depths of her eyes

I witnessed the weight binding her soul

Chained and heavy

Scared with affliction

Yearning to be more than what was.

Her body was an anchor

Hopelessly drifting with life’s currents

Incessant battering disfiguring her core

Until it was muddled of recognition

Her lusterless gaze

Drained of existence

Proved a doomed inclination

That she would no longer be trapped,

Seizing her fate with both hands

Tightly wrapped at the handle

She finished the job life could not.

While, yet dauntingly morbid

Her chalked layout

Was her final exhibition

Of her version of being free.

Olsfred James 2015©

Premonitory

-source-

Please

Leave me to retreat to the darkness.

Let my charred blacken soul

Roam amongst the shadows

To dwell in the obscurity of the murkiness

Where it is without characteristic

And without judgment.

The chains of this vessel

Cannot bind me forever.

Do not mistake me for a caterpillar

Unaware of its metamorphosis

I know what I am…

What I have always been.

Cold and broken

A single shard of some… thing once whole.

Unable to find the pieces

With an identity unknown.

Spare yourself the torment

I am a black hole impartial of your affection

Callously consuming all in my path.

So please…

For the sake of your sanity

Forget that I exist.

Olsfred James 2015©

Coin

-source-

She fell in love with my words…

                The persona within these pages.

                The lies I concocted while stewing another batch of imagination.

                Not the stretched beyond means

                Mangled and grotesque remains of the person that is me.

                The strangeness amongst the fiction we call the truth

                Is without tricks without props and without illusions

                Yet does not sate our needless self-destruction

                To sedate the truth

                Cowering from its contagious whisper

                Infection laced messages

Clinging to a reality much unlike our own

And the inflated imaginings of a person unknown, yet...

She fell in love with my words…

Olsfred James 2015©