Evening

I don’t know what I crave more…
Your embrace, as you gently ease the burdens of my day
Or your company, as you possess me with your beauty
To be how we were once more
To touch you as I once did… kiss you as I once have
Memories of you are still sketched in my mind
Memories I have tried to deny
Memories I have tried to hide.
Yet undoubtedly you’re all and much more than just a heart’s desire
Much more than I require…
But now you’re gone aren’t you?
So what do I do with all these emotions?
Bottle them up and toss them to the ocean?
My fear of losing you has now become my reality
Yet I never had you in actuality
Maybe it’s the reason I tried to keep from falling
But I’m already standing on the ledge…
Watching, waiting and wanting…
Resisting walking off the edge…
Damn… I miss you.

 

 

Awake

Day 15 | 2:15 am

He crept up on me in the midst of my preparation

My hands trembled

 “Damn it!’ I think to myself as I return to my quarters

His presence was expected but sooner than anticipated

He seems overly zealous tonight. I sense his eagerness.

“I applaud you my foe I see you’re a man of dedication

But tonight is the night I surely shall win

The battle has begun… Let the stand-off begin”

Aimlessly, I greeted him. No response as usual just my silly rambles to the air

As the drifting echo from the closing door reminds me of how alone I am.

“You asked for an easier way out of here

Therefore you have been recruited for a special program.

 All you need to do is… close your eyes!”

Day 15 | 2:51 am

They call me a psycho, while they are the ones playing these psychotic games.

They drugged me

Poisoned me

And now keeps tabs on my resistance.

Nothing but your mind exists in this facility.

No rewards for your achievements, no feedback on your performance

Days merged together with only one possible conclusion

As the single hanging clock is a reminder, seemingly, counting down…

“Tick tock, tick tock

I just can’t escape the sound of the…

Tick tock, tick tock

Resonating in my brain why doesn’t it…

Tick tock, tick tock”

I mumble to myself

Reading the now fading words scribbled on the wall

Signs that I was not the only rat trapped in this lab.

Day 15 | 3:39 am

It’s peaceful on the other side he says

It’s easier to close your eyes he says

With his many attempts at my heart’s desire

Yet I refuse to be his pawn

Refuse to be used or treated as a fool

I’ve heard it all before

I’ve been here times before

Made note of his tricks now known as his trade

So I do not care for his false promises and intangible trinkets.

Day 15 | 4:42 am

Hour after hour the unending contest vigorously prolonged.

Limbs begin to tire and I sense him mocking my every futile attempts

But my flaw was in a blink which lasted a second too long

A vision of life looms into focus

She touches my skin

Hands so soft

Skin so radiant

“No! This is not real!”

I must hold on to reality my faith cannot so easily be sealed.

Desperately I fought to not give-in to his illusions

But as the days toll now takes effect

I’ve failed – tricked – and willingly I’ve fallen into his grasp

It was evident the contest was over even before it had begun

For the Sandman; the ruler of sleep, is a contender impossible to outrun!

Legendary

Into battle we go

     Both with minds on victory

          Opponents’ worlds apart

Thirst to be sketched in history

     This war, it may have started elsewhere

           But ends here, before this very sheet of paper

A man for today but a legend - in time - later

      Standing at the brink of fate

           Peter waits at the pearly gates

Your soul to keep – Your hand to greet

      The moment you fall to my feet

           With weapons of destruction chosen

A battle of the century begins

      But forever this day is frozen

 

Into battle we go
      Sound the trumpets of war
           Slice, rip, slash and tear
Until my rival is no more
       I have won – I am him. The Messiah? No
           Something of a poet aka your lyrical savior
Bow not before me as I am one of many
       But read or take heed and listen – Then hate or adore me
           As my finely tuned words take form
I’ve proven my valor is true
       A pen at hand a sword in yours
           Yet I am mightier than you.

 

 

Guilty

 

Desperately I scamper to latch the remaining open windows.

Their arrival was eminent.

Torches cast countless shadows dancing on the walls.

The townspeople who had heard of my alleged crime made their way to my retreat.

Bats, pitchforks, rifles and ropes seemed as if they were extensions of their beings.

Angry chants could have been heard for miles and echoed through the hall ways.

“Open the door” they say, “You're dead” they screamed pounding and thrashing against the outside walls. 

The lantern rattled and the cabinet doors sporadically clattered from the vibration.

Cowering, I sought safety hastily on hands and feet within the farthest chamber.

My heart raced, my hands trembled. I had not known I was bleeding until now.

The thick red pool reminded me of when I held her in my arms. I loved her and he knew it.

Yet, rather than killing me, rather than ending my suffering, he blamed me.

Framed me. Handed me over to them.

I entered the room only on the account of the gunshots

A classic tale of wrong time, wrong place.

A mistake, my mistake - to his advantage this was used.

I should have done more that night.

Then and only then I could have – would have – accepted this fate.

Now there is a cold embrace from the shackles of my confinement

As the nostalgia of a night long since purged from memory returns

Until tonight I thought of only escape.

Until tonight I thought of only revenge.

I had not been given a chance to plead my innocence.

It was clear by the irascible mob the time for discussion had already passed.

Long before I fled my sentence had already been decided.

His authority in this small town would have shadowed any verdict.

There was no black or white to this truth only gray and what was done, was done.

I was trapped; either I walk out to the imminent danger or stay within these walls.

There was no getaway, after all this time, all this trouble

I sat there in a pool of my own blood slowly bleeding, slowly drifting

As the poison from the thick black smoke now seeping through the door plagues my lungs.

Boundaries

Stunning.

There she sits, opposite me.

Hungry eyes of persuasion staring back seductively.

She pollutes the air with her incurable poison

Suffocating my night as I breathe her in

Astonishing.

There she sits, opposite me.

Lips of desire, luring me in relentlessly.

Infatuation no more her

Attraction is simply overwhelming

I want her, I need her,

“Oh God” this appeal is tempting.

Wonderful.

There she sits, opposite me.

Her influence is toxic, gripping me intensely

I’ve counted the many was of our passionate exploration

I’ve counted your many screams, moans and multiple orgasms

Exquisite.

There she sits, opposite me.

So close to touch yet far from reality

To me, her beauty has no match in this undeserving world

But I must resist, must deny these urges

As she will forever be my best friends girl.

Moth

Gaze into my hollow eyes

Peek you surely must

Stare if you dare

Yet with time you will realize

Resistance is futile.

As you gaze into my hollow eyes

A beast has awoken within

Yearning for its existence

Longing for this moment

Inch by inch, closer and closer

Does your heart now quiver?

Is your blood more potent?

Serenity no longer.

Gasp, as you gaze into my hollow eyes

Now my fingers coil darkness emerges

You’re helpless to my touch

Deliverance by no means as I never promised such

Yet the cold now treks within

Further away from reality your journey begins

With a final question forcefully I oblige

Is there light on the other side

As you gaze into my hollow eyes?

Tell me.

Summary

Gasp, choking

Repent words unspoken

Fooled by a token

To a heart still unopened

Pain, worsen

Mind left dozing

Days left hoping

Blurred visions gloating

Smash, unbroken

Drowning yet floating

Molten yet frozen

Results from door chosen

Stunned, motion

Drift as the ocean

No longer posing

Or fueled by emotion

Hurt, joking

Tables now working

Redeemed by the notion

Eyes now soaking

Pen

I need a Pen,

I need to scribble something at least to begin with

Doesn’t matter what comes out

Doesn’t matter if it means shit

I simply need a Pen,

Pilot or Parker, I really don’t have a preference

If it can write, then good

That’s all I need right now to jot down this sentence

I just need a Pen,

My focus is not the “words” or finding “deeper” meaning

I could care less if it’s read

Less of its structure; less of its beginning

Yet I must find a Pen,

So simple a request yet so difficult to be satisfied

Maybe I should type in CAPS

Or have this ass of a mic amplified

But if only I could find a Pen,

What wonderful stories I would write

Of mischief or mayhem

Or tales for the hearts delight

A Pen – My Partner

Just like with crime

Luring my victim with words

As I forever enslave their mind

Hallelujah

I found one, I had it all along

Neatly tucked away in my pocket

Close to my heart where it belongs

Now out of that dilemma

I still have to wait till later

One issue finally resolved

But now I need some Paper.

Nicola

The lights are dimmed;

Our glasses are now empty

A subtly giggle conceals the discomfort

Of an unspoken Modus Vivendi.

I’ve waited for this, wanted this,

Counted every second to the moment of this

But now, unexpectedly, there is uncertainty after the debating of this

Yet, a forbidden fruit lies within my chamber

Am tempted by her seduction

Tempted by the danger

Captivating eyes of a distant yet vivid memory

Of a person I once knew

Of a person who once knew me

How did we get here? Is this the power of confession?

Her words in motion

Her body as her expression

The perfect offering through obvious nonchalance

Repeatedly beckoning, insisting on my response

Yet should I give in?

Let this craving win?

Willingly wound myself by her tenderness

To know the pain of our togetherness

Or be subjected to loves distance

Than to tarnish our history in an instant

Yet as Picasso looks upon his canvas

Astonished by its beauty – Paint I surely must

Torn between my urges as I am intoxicated by her spell –

Intoxicated by lust

Whispers of pleasure so fluently spoken within my ear

Her soft kisses against my neck,

Finger prints against my chest

Hands upon her thighs,

Cornered at the edge of desire

But nothing exists now, not our past,

Not our future only the present

As our eyes are locked with desire

No longer a friend only a stranger.