Sidebar pt.2

A moment of silence….

For the women who have lost their way and sad to say will remain that way

Preaching an unending sad saga of their trials and tribulations of misguided decisions but blame it on their relation… ship.

Sailing away to distant lands wondering what ever happened to their man!

As if their trap they spun would not cause any fly without wings to run

Are you serious with that mellow dramatic “I am the victim” that’s why I kicked him to the curb “poetic” shit?

I feel sorry for you - now more than ever as if comparing your moods to the change of weather but wait….

A moment of silence….

For the men who tried but failed and though impaled still refused to bail…

On women like yourself sadly unable to think for themselves

Dependent on others to do the thinking for you

Weaving webs of lies on events that “we” both know were not true

I refuse to choose sides in battles where I was only a listening ear

With 3 sides to a story your quite lucky I cared

Yet, as everything crumbled I stood in the mist of the rubble

Amidst of the trouble that is you oh silent but deadly woman

Listening to the cries of tries with glistening streams from your eyes from you oh violent woman

Expecting me… the one though not without sin to cast the first stone

To stand at your side and watch my fellow male burn?

I think not!

Interlude

“One Night Only” The outside banner displayed

There were no Bouncers at the door

No fees to be paid

Just an open access

I thought, of course, there was no need for these things

Being as ramshackle as this building was

Upon entry

The smell of incense quickly caught my attention

Then noticed the many patrons sat about their tables

The lights were faded and the jazz band had only begun their first set.

The atmosphere was a far cry from its exterior

Everyone wore a smile

Everyone in tuned with the other

Feeding off an endless vibe

I felt like an outsider

Intruding on a natural selection of minds

Occupying a space in this world reserved for them only

Yet still, I took a seat at a corner table

Ensuring I am able to grasp the many happenings around me

“A Drink Sir?” the waitress asked

I was not aware of her approaching or how long she stood there

“Nothing for now. Thank you” I responded

She nodded, smiled and walked away

To my left another visitor takes his seat

Orders a glass of whiskey and proceeds to inhale on his cigar

The smoke lazily drifts to the band and their mellow mood

Who continued to entertain

There was an interlude

The ambiance slowly dimmed until the only light was cast on the stage

Subtly in the background a piano begins to play

The pianist was not in sight

Chords of their own accord

The clutter of chatter fades

A soft female voice comes through the microphone

The ballad was of her life

The night is electrified

My companion no longer puffed away at his cigar

As he too was lost in wonder

Her tale seemed a story waiting to be told

With her heartfelt lyrics and alliterated verses

“No matter the mountains or valleys I would cross them to save you.

Through the darkest shades of grey I would be there to guide you…”

As she stood there

I hung on ever lyric; lost within her words

Listening keenly to her tale of a love found ultimately to be lost

But her undying belief that one day she would be happy once more

Her attention turned to my direction and that brief moment our eyes connected

I felt for her and understood her pain

That brief moment our eyes connected

I wanted to protect her; I wanted to be her shelter

Until I was yanked back to reality with claps and a finger snaps

Unaware that I had tuned out

As the jazz band commenced once more

While with a smile to her admirers she made her way off stage

Yet I patiently sat in my corner waiting on another interlude.

Nicola pt.4

Together we took an eraser to the line

Removed all restrictions, discarded all inhibitions

But it’s decided.

I have made up my mind

This final ode I consider your eulogy

Rest in peace Nicola

Farewell, my friend, my lover

I pay tribute to your precious memories, sometimes through laughter;

Occasionally through tears, but mostly through my obvious love and affection for you

No longer will I torture myself in your name

Chastising my mind, body and soul in hopes of a higher understanding

But I am no Saint and this mortification is in vein

Do you think about me? Have you missed me the little I’ve been gone?

Does your mind wander then wonder over where I am now?

Do you drown in thoughts...? Drown in tears…?

There was never a guarantee we ever had a future

Yet as the ocean embraces the shore

Your love consumed me leaving me wanting for more

Washing me anew

Unaware of the beauty that was within until I collided into you

I dedicate these lines to your memory

To the girl I passed now and then in the hallways

To the conversations we had with our eyes

Before profession from our lips

To the girl who knew what I was thinking

Long before the thought was complete

I wanted to be the best you ever had or would ever attain

Now it’s beautifully depressing and am stained with the relic of you

The nostalgia of it all

Yet as I lay here scripting my final words of parting you from mind

Your picture displays on my mobile

A return call after all these months

As if only tonight I had returned to existence

Or had these constant thoughts of you removed the distance

I wonder can you tell my heart races from the yearning it undergoes

As I reluctantly answer

Then manage to muster a somewhat fragile effort to be earnest…

“Hel...lo?”