The bullets whizzing past my ear collide into the wall behind me. “That was close” I think to myself.
All I wanted for Christmas was to see Santa Claus on the
street late one night, knock his ass over and steal his big red bag. Yet here I
am, stuck between a rock and custom modified AR15 refitted for 4 of the meanest
looking… toddlers, ever.
I didn't really expect much from half pint, forever jolly
elves whose only ambition in life was to do the big guy’s bidding while hopping
around singing carols. This was the happiest sweatshop workers I had ever seen.
They should be on my side if you’d ask me. Nevertheless, the smiles had faded
long ago with the signal of my
intrusion.
There was no time to waste; the longer I stayed here the
more of these little runts would trap me in. Wait for it… Wait for it… As
expected, their bullets couldn't last forever. I used the split second between
their reload to unleash hell upon them. 3 shots; 3 bodies. I hopped over the center
table kicking the last of them in the face. His green blood decorated the
floorboard as I squeezed the trigger. Sorry Frodo but today is not your day.
All quiet. If my directions were right I would have just
a few more doors down the hallway before reaching my pot of gold. This place
was like both a museum, with its many artifacts most plastered in gold and an
amusement park any kid would die to see.
The sound of marching feet echo through the halls. I take
cover behind the first statue I could find. Counting each passing footfall, I
estimated about twice the sum of my previous battle. I could take them, crack a
few skulls, slit a few throats all without the use of “Matilda” but I need to
be wise about the fights I initiate especially when my whereabouts are unknown.
I use the adrenaline to focus on the task at hand.
Rolling and ducking behind the many choices of statues and display cases. Then
there it was… just as Manny described, except, the door was open and there were
no guards. This place was a maze with more traps than King Tut’s tomb yet, there
it was, unguarded and ready for the taking. Got to be a trap, must be a trap.
I brace for takeoff and began running across the hall, dropped
to my knee pads and slid into the room, arms apart with Matilda ready to hello.
Then the thought hit me as I found myself flying across the room from a kick to
the rib… Why have guards when they got him; old St. Nick!
I coughed a draught of blood. Yup, something was
definitely broken inside. The pain was intense yet as he towered above me while
I could not help but wonder… “How does his big ass get into my house?”
“That’s enough theatricals.” He said in an old and raspy
voice, like Edmund Gwen from the 1955 Miracle On 34th Street movie but… deeper.
“I know why you’re
here but if you want it you will have to go through me. I have retired the
elves. It’s only you and me”
I laughed at the thought of fighting his big ass.
“Well Nicky, that’s the thing… it’s not just you and me. Meet
Matilda!” I managed to say before squeezing a few rounds in his direction.
“Holy shit he’s fast” I thought. Surprised at the speed he dodged my shots.
Click! Click! Click! I ran for cover behind a column. “Fuck”
It seems all my ammo went flying the same time I did. I could see a lonely
cartridge laying in the middle of the massive room. Just to get ov….
A loud cracking sound and the tumble of rubble forced me
from my hiding place. Nicky had just punched a hole in the column aimed at my
head.
“A few inches to the left and your head would have gone
flying boy!” he said while laughing. The only thing missing from that laugh was
maybe some thunder and lightning back ground effects and his famous “Ho Ho Ho”...
never knew St. Nick was this cynical.
He had no weapons, should he attack it would be close
range. If I wanted to that cartridge I would have to face him. Let’s do this
old man. I jumped at him with everything I had and caught him off guard. With a
devious smile on his face saying “About time you put those toys away.”
Blow for blow we fought each hit forcing both closer to unconsciousness.
From the ground up I managed to land an uppercut. He staggered back and dived
for the ammo. He launched at me with another huge boot coming my way. I dodged
and shot him in the leg and back as he flew by.
“Sneaky boy.” He exclaimed, standing at full height, ripping
off his shirt. “You think your pebble shots could ever harm me?” The bullets protruded
out of the wounds they created then dropped to the floor.
Then there it was again, that cynical laugh of his. His
eyes began to glow a demonic red spreading his feet apart bracing for an
unknown attack in my direction.
The sound of a bell chiming echoed the hallways. St. Nick’s face wore a sight of unbelief and
shock as he ran off towards his big red sack, then making his way to the
staircase at the back of the room.
I chased him, ran him down through winding stairs then
another narrow hallway. I was surprised I managed to keep up; the wounds he
sustained may not have fully healed. The clock made its twelfth and final chime;
Old Nicky was off to a late start. Oddly this made me smile made me feel
accomplished in a sort of way.
He burst through a door at the end of the hallway. I
followed him in full pursuit guns blazing as I stepped unto the landing. Two
shots connected yet he didn't stop. Adamant on his escape with one hand unto
the ledge Old St Nick jumped off the roof.
“What the…” I said as I came to a stop at the edge to see
Rudolph was already waiting to catch Nick mid fall. I stood there watching as
he flew away on his red sleigh thinking “Fuck. Does this mean I’m on the lifetime naughty list?”
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