We all have our demonsMine linger
And loom
In the form of faceless expressions
Wondering and curious eyes
Fighting back their questions.
"I heard about what happened…"
.
.
.
(Seems to be the opening of the discussion)
Yea you did?
So did I
I was there…
Chained from the wrist to the feet.
Like an animal in defeat
Shuffled into a caged
An unwanted addition to an already crowded space
The lingering smell of urine and vomit
Could not mask the the hopelessness of the situation
Looking on
As life carried on
Unconcerned that you were stuck.
Quicksand.
The more you fight the deeper you sank.
Surrounded by somber tales
Of who's and why's
These cold walls listened keenly
Somehow willing these confessions
From residents and visitors alike
I had no stories to share
My mind was too unsure that I was really here
Perplexed by the situation
In denial that this was reality
And I would wake up in the comfort of my bed
My bed…
I had none but the welcoming arms
Of the concrete floor -
As cold as the embrace was
Unconcerned that you were stuck.
Quicksand.
The more you fight the deeper you sank.
Surrounded by somber tales
Of who's and why's
These cold walls listened keenly
Somehow willing these confessions
From residents and visitors alike
I had no stories to share
My mind was too unsure that I was really here
Perplexed by the situation
In denial that this was reality
And I would wake up in the comfort of my bed
My bed…
I had none but the welcoming arms
Of the concrete floor -
As cold as the embrace was
I laid there
Staring at the rotted ceiling
Spatter dashed walls
Counting how many times the word "Fuck"
Was used as a punctuation mark in the on going stories
Shared by my cellmates.
Maybe sleep would bring dreams better than reality
Dreams…
Dreams…
Restless and weary
Cold and alone
What dreams…
My mind concocted nightmarish thoughts
Keeping me awake
Maybe it was the walls punishing me
Punishing me for not paying my right of passage.
The chafed therapist urged me on
Promised to keep my secrets
Dreams…
Dreams…
Restless and weary
Cold and alone
What dreams…
My mind concocted nightmarish thoughts
Keeping me awake
Maybe it was the walls punishing me
Punishing me for not paying my right of passage.
The chafed therapist urged me on
Promised to keep my secrets
Then finally I broke
As I recalled the circumstances of my being here
Until bit by bit he was satisfied
The slowly bit by bit granted me sleep…
.
.
.
"So tell me, what about my life you would like to know that in some way shape or form will benefit you other than to satisfy your curiosity or provide new insight for gossip material?"
"Ah… I just wanted to know if you're okay"
"Oh... Yea I'm good"
As I recalled the circumstances of my being here
Until bit by bit he was satisfied
The slowly bit by bit granted me sleep…
.
.
.
"So tell me, what about my life you would like to know that in some way shape or form will benefit you other than to satisfy your curiosity or provide new insight for gossip material?"
"Ah… I just wanted to know if you're okay"
"Oh... Yea I'm good"
Olsfred James 2016©
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